body.. My body has been a strange concept for me to grasp but one that I am coming to love. I have found that my body is translated differently depending on the context I’m in. In a more familiar setting, specifically the African American community I am not quite there. I’m not thick enough to be considered a real sista but my wide hips protrude more than my European counterparts’, yet, my flat behind isn’t one that fits like a ball into my man’s hands like it should. I have a very “nerdy” face and the appropriate demeanor to match While mainstream America deny my black body, foreign men, women and children label my curves as exotic, “bubbly” to be exact. It’s quite interesting and confusing, I’m not quite enough for us but then I’m way too much them. For them I’ve had to hide the very curves that I try to highlight when I’m with fellow Americans. It’s made me realize that I’ll never be good enough and I’ll always be too much or too little for somebody. Everyone else may be confused but I’m finally at a place where I can dance in the mirror naked, swaying my hour glass hips and my not so fat booty and be happy.
mind.. My experiences have been full of nothing but grace, mercy and favor; it is because of these that my mind is open and willing to learn. I am forever a student to the world. The world as a giant classroom, with a variety of students and teachers who have so much to share with me. There’s so much that little ‘ol me has to learn in this complex world. Diving into the new makes me realize how connected the old and the new are. Our world and her people are bridged together by experiences that are so different but yet the same. My most recent life experiences have not only opened my mind but cleansed it of anger and bitterness. Yet these same experiences have protected my mind from being naive and gullible. “A grateful mind is a powerful mind” and I believe it is my gratefulness that has allowed me to be receptive of the lessons that the world has to offer.
soul.. Aspects of my life that are central to me: • African American Woman • Daughter, Sister, Cousin • Strength of My mother • The Lombard Rejection/ Comeback • Christ • Self-Happiness • Education • Giving back • Art: self-expression, activism, empowerment I define myself as an African American woman. I acknowledge that somewhere deep in me and my genealogy there is a piece of mother Africa in me. I define myself as a daughter who is required to love the woman’s whose strength and sacrifices have been used to build me up. I understand that family is all that I have, in addition to the gracious love of Christ. I define my happiness by how well I feel spiritually, if I feel like I’m letting me creator down then everything else seems to be off. I understand that this life and my experiences are 1000 times better when I share them with the people I love, my soul longs for my family. My mother is my back bone, my soul longs to be like the peaceful warrior she is. It is she who knows me best and will always be the one who understands. I define Christ as the cornerstone of my existence, it is because of him that I have this life anyway. I never thought I would experience betrayal of a parent, but it has happened and I’ve learned to trust people when they show you who you are, accept it and move on. Love is not defined by a title but by the actions and unspoken promises of people. I am stronger because of false hope and love but I am better because of forgiveness (something I’m still working on). I value most self-happiness, if I’m not genuinely happy no one else around me will be. I have learned that I come first. Selfishness is beautiful thing, it means we are enjoying the give of life that God gave; I have just one life why waste it on unhappiness. Education is extremely high on my priority list, I am a firm believer that an educated mind is an unstoppable one, when you know better you do better. I can’t be the best me that I can be ignorant. Art is the place I run to for comfort. I know art is a safe space as it is created from my unconscious thoughts. Music, dance, speech are Bre’Lynn, they illustrate the deepest secrets of my soul.
ancestry& spirituality.. From the backs of my mothers who were captured, sold, raped, beaten and worked, I come from an ancestry of women who were built to endure and persevere. I continue my family ancestry by striving for freedom. The first to break the generational curse of not receiving a college degree, I continue the attitude of searching for better. I continue my family’s love, loving unconditionally and loyally. I continue the need of a support system leaning on my support system and my embedded faith to make it through. I am a spiritual being and I strive to live as such pleasing my creator, receiving water from the well that will never run dry, and satisfying my soul with the things that makes me happy spiritually, rather than physically.
for more information on breology, visit her on social media @Brekah_35 and/or contact her via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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