body.. Growing up, I was always very insecure about the way I look. I was always trying to conform to the societal standards of beauty. I never thought I was pretty enough or good enough for anything or anyone. I feel like this was primarily due to the fact that I did not have a positive female role model in my life. As a young girl, it was difficult growing up without a mother. I was never told I was beautiful which really affected me as I got older.
I would always compare myself to other girls, and I would always try to change personality to be like someone else. I knew I had a problem and I knew I needed help, but I did not know how to get the help that I need. I just thought I was never enough.
I believe that coming to Spelman truly changed the way that I view myself. My Spelman Sisters became my role models. I noticed that all the other girls were so confident, and I wanted to be like that too. Despite my struggles with acceptance, I started to work on myself. Freshman year, I started my own journey of self-acceptance. I just remembered praying one night asking God to not make me hate myself anymore. He truly helped show me the way and I started to train my mind and my thoughts to think the way that I want them to think. I am truly proud of myself for the way that I have grown psychologically, over the past year and a half.
mind.. I was always embarrassed about where I was from. I was afraid to talk about my background and how poor I grew up, seeing that most of the girls at Spelman had a very elite upbringing. This took a toll on my mind because I did not think I was good enough to be at a place like Spelman. I struggled my freshman year with acceptance and feeling a sense of belonging. Although my life in Jamaica remains a hard topic for me to talk about, I think my experiences have truly humbled me. I have started to realize that my background is a major contributor to who I am today, and have allow me to develop a more diverse perspective on life. I never take anything for granted. I am gradually understanding that failure does not exist, and that I have to own my past and accept my journey as a first generation college student.
soul.. I think sometimes I care too much. I tend to overthink things a lot, only because I want to fix everything, and I want to fix everyone. I am constantly thinking how I can help those who cannot help themselves. But that’s who I am, that’s my soul. My soul is the core of my existence. It is the force that allows me to not just sympathize, but empathize with others.
ancestry& spirituality.. I do believe there is a power and a force that’s is so much greater than myself. I put all my trust in a higher power, that which I call God. I believe that I cannot go through my journey, and I cannot fully understand the power of my existence without the Lord Almighty. He is the only explanation for all thing that are incomprehensible to man.
For a very long time, I struggled with my spirituality when I lost someone really close to me. I blamed God for the death of my grandmother and did not understand why He would take someone I love. But eventually, I started to realize that everything happens for a reason and I started to trust Gods plan for myself. Now, My faith is steadfast.
for more information on Jodiology, visit her on social media @_realislandgirl and/or contact her via email at firstname.lastname@example.org
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